What makes your Blog looks like a 90-year-old Prostitute?

Hahahaha! I guess you might be pondering what makes this guy laugh always? I just can’t tell but it seems I do find myself in funny situations always.

Let me tell you the reason behind the laughter and how that might likely relate to your blog or maybe mine. What makes your blog look like a 90-year-old prostitute? hahahaha

Something which started as a mere headache about four days ago turned out to be malaria so I had no option than to visit the hospital yesterday. But something funny happened.

People were all over the place near one old building and obviously curiosity drove me there too. What was happening? It’s all about a man who has gone in for a prostitute but has refused to settle the bill because the prostitute was too old and he never realised it since it was dark when he picked her up.

The prostitute is as old as his 90 year grandmother and would not be willing to make any settlement with her. That is according to the man!

I beg, ask the man who asked him to go in for her grandmother’s age? hahahaha

This is the exact situation many bloggers with their blogs do find themselves in as the 90-year-old prostitute. What makes your blog look like a 90 year prostitute?

1. Your Comment System

It is really absurd when blogs with great contents have poor commenting system. Commenting systems asking readers to sign in before they can comment. Blogs with Disqus and something like livefyre are indeed like 90-year-old prostitutes with no flavour. hahahaha!

What is the use of trying to make just blog commenting really difficult for your visitors? I will indeed not pay for such a blog.

2.Your Design

You sometimes do come across certain web blogs with their designs and the next thing which comes in mind is, is this blogger indeed serious? Everything with respect to what he terms as his best design is very poor. Using flashy colours don’t work online but works great offline. So why then do you want that lovely blog of yours look more or less like being a disco with all those flashy colours?

3. Your Writing

There is no way I intend to rubbish the way you write but to be sincere with yourself, are you being yourselfΒ  when you write and try to behave like an old lecturer delivering someΒ  boring lectures. Obviously the class will go to sleep!

No one is born a writer neither was anyone born with pen in hand, we are all here to learn.So wanting your posts to be like this or that blogger won’t take you anywhere but will go a long way to hurt you at the end. Making your blog look unsexy and unattractive to your readers just like that 90-year-old prostitute.

Just be yourself and let the world know what you have to offer!

4.ADS

I know I’m somehow guilty of this. But others are more guiltier! hahaha! The reality is that adverts bring in those cash every blogger desires but too much of them is cos 90. I mean zero.

What is the essence of having more than 10 ad units on your homepage just in the quest of making some cool cash? I know what I’m talking about because I have being there once. I used to sign up to every monetizing system I came across and lambasting them all over on my blog but the end results? There was simply nothing to write home about.

It isn’t a matter of the more adverts you have or how flashy they are that will bring you some cash but rather how smart you place them and the number of visitors you drive to towards them.

5. Your Turn

The point of trying to deliver a boring lecture is what I have o intention of doing. So please, your comments are very well welcomed!

51 Replies to “What makes your Blog looks like a 90-year-old Prostitute?”

  1. Hahaha! Let me borrow you laugh friend :), you mean someone actually took a lady as old as 90-years old grandma.. This is really hilarious Emanuel and I can’t help by laugh out loud. hahaha!

    I have my reservation about Disqus, I guess they have options for anonymous commenting. Even at that, I agree with you that third party commenting system looks like old grandma only because they lack the customization fell. Everyone ruining the system have the same look and feel. Things like that don’t make me sleep at night.

    I have visited some blogs that the colors makes me forget my purpose, I think blog design needs good balancing. It shouldn’t be off putting but calm to the eyes. Like you said, and I am glad you confessed. You are guilty! Ads can become annoying if not properly structured, especially when it becomes difficult to differentiate between ads and content.

    Nice one friend :), I particularly love the title, I wonder when you always dig them,.. Thanks, this is indeed a lovely way to start the week. Enjoy the rest of the day and I hope you have won the war against malaria.. πŸ™‚

      1. I beg I no dey mark your JAMB papers for here. Hahaha!
        The battle against malaria is still on and I know I’m going to be the victor. Hahaha!!!

        1. Disqus disgust me, why? It’s just not like the common commenting platform.
          hhaha i got you there, you are guiltier for those ads, lucky me, i have just two.

          Well, i know i’m guilty when it comes to my blog design, i hope to pass that exam. 2/3
          2 down, 1 to go. I don’t want my blog to look like a 90…instead 20yr+ will be better πŸ˜‰

  2. Emmanuel ehn, you surely know how to capture peoples attention with your title, I love that..

    You mention so really awesome points there, Your Designs is one of the major reason and i loved how you mention about it, and am glad you know you are guilty about the ads Lol..

    Thanks for sharing, have a blessed week..

    Warm Regards
    Temilola

  3. Hi Emmanuel,
    When i saw the title of this article, i must say i feel in love with it. I agree with these tips, you blog design is really very important because it is what someone sees first when they visit your blog so it should be attractive and well arranged. About ads, i must say i visited a blog and saw about 12 cpc ads all scattered and i must say it made the blog look like a 90 year old prostitute. I love this boss, tnx for sharing.

    ~Bob

  4. Now I have read everything related to blogging πŸ˜›
    Most unique post on blogging niche.. creative title
    hats off!

  5. Aha!! what a Article..Cool!

    you Point of view is Great, i am also a Blogger and today i read you post here i know many intrested Things..

    thanks !!! πŸ™‚

  6. Hi Cudjoe!

    Great points, i would like to add some –

    1) Too many plugins = Slow blog
    2) Mindset of the Writer – positive or negative
    3) Friendly or unfriendly
    4) Informative or rambling
    5) buggy blog theme

    I suppose the list can be as big as you can make it!

    Piyush

  7. Hi Emmanuel,

    Colorful stuff as always buddy. Some people are ignorant others are desperate. In either case the negative energies within force these folks to do silly stuff, which makes their blog look silly.

    I am always improving but feel my blog is looking better and coming together nicely in the content creation realm too. My network is growing and I am learning from smart, creative bloggers like yourself.

    Great title man. Def planted some seeds for my titles down the road.

    Thanks as always buddy.

    Ryan

  8. Hi Emmanuel!!
    I really love your whacky sense of humor! πŸ˜€
    This is not the first instance I have come across a really innovative and unique title from you. A title which made me want to read the entire post which I might not otherwise have.
    THAT, my friends, is a killer headline.
    What makes me want to comment here is the fact that you have raised some very pertinent points after a catchy title and rightly pointed out some silly mistakes which should be avoided.
    All in all, a superb post!
    RESPECT. πŸ™‚

  9. Hi Emmanuel,

    What a cracking headline! You sure grabbed my attention with it and I’m sure others agree.

    I totally agree with your tips as well, especially the one about being yourself. It’s so important to let your personality shine through whilst delivering brilliant content.

    Have a great day and thanks for sharing!

    Laura

  10. Hey,

    For me, it happens when your site look just like others. I mean some themes are great but you need to really do aome changes to avoid ‘look alikes’. I always prefer to go for something more unique.

    Well, that’s me though.

  11. Good List buddy!
    I just started monetizing my blog but just with my hosting provider!
    Another think i really detest are those popup windows that appear in the centre of a blog post 5 mins after you start reading a post!
    I know of one blog that has 3 of these one to subscribe to this persons list which I did yet it still appears on every page I click on then another for this bloggers facebook page that pops up at the same time then another one that pops up offering to speak to the blogger their good self towards the end of a blog post!
    Why oh why!
    Great post buddy!
    – Phillip

    1. Hi Philip,
      It is indeed annoying seeing lots of pop ups on one particularly page just on a single blog. The ‘why’ is for them to answer.

      Thanks a lot for your comment.

  12. Hello Emmanuel,

    Your writing style is so impressive, no matter the story is real or not (Hahaha :D). Talking about the commenting system, I also hate the commenting systems like disqus, because these are making the commenting boring for me. Oh, I have to login for commenting, and then leave a comment; better I will go anywhere else.

    About the colors of the blog or say theme, which has first impression on the readers is very important. If it is easy to navigate, easy to have a continuous look at it; then it will not only decrease the bounce rate of your blog but also make your readers come again to your site.

    Writing, for this you have put a good example here, no one could stop laughing hearing that and interested to read the post further. Oh, I have protection for ads in my browser and no ads on my site yet. I am on safe side yet πŸ˜›

    Thanks for sharing an eye catching article. Have a nice day πŸ™‚

    ~Ganesh Narayan Gupta

  13. Interesting title (and post), Emmanuel πŸ˜€

    Your right, a blog must be about community (and commenting helps to build that) and about providing a good experience (a good and clean design is required for providing a good experience; Too many ads ruin that experience).

    I have made many mistakes with these things – didn’t pay much attention to building a community (I didn’t pay much attention to commenting on other blogs. My sole focus was on guest posting and social media. It worked well, and I could probably go on without commenting much, but commenting is too powerful of tool to ignore).

    Anyways, thank you for reminding me of all these things πŸ˜‰ It sure is helpful, especially since I am working on launching a blog πŸ˜€

  14. Hi Emmanuel,

    can’t disagree anymore about it. I am tend to avoid blog commenting system that force me to sign in. About writing sometimes I do feel like a boring lecture though. When that comes I just hit publish and let readers decide :). We’ll never know how audiences going to react but there’s only two option they like or they don’t like. If we know how to please audiences through our writing of course it’s become an important advantage to develop our blog in the long run. Thanks for keeping us remind about this my friend.

  15. nice one kabenlah πŸ™‚ you always share either philosophical or hilarious posts related to blog. keep on doing it since it identifies who you are as a blogger πŸ™‚

    i am also thinking some philosophical posts for my blog to add a different flavor to my site πŸ™‚

  16. Hi Emmanuel,

    There is always something special packed in your writing as you relate your blog post to some funny stuff going around. And this time you did relate one of the most controversial topic to this post. I remember your previous post where you wrote about being naked and relating to your post.

    Coming to this post its true that we need to trim our blog so that it looks appealing to our readers and regular visitors.

    Nice post…

  17. Man , you’ve exceptional writing skills . I agree with you that design of the blog and the content in it are the main reasons for visitors to visit the blog . Thanks for sharing

    -Pramod

  18. A killer title once again man.
    I completely agree that there are many things in a blog that makes it look like an old woman, all wrinkled up and you don’t like seeing it.
    Superb man, you really come up with some cool titles πŸ™‚

  19. hi Emmanuel,
    okay I got the point.
    Making it as simple as possible for the readers as possible is what we should try.
    This will help in the loads of comments and reviews for both our website and the article.

  20. First of all, I would like to express my believe: 90yrs Old prostitutes don’t exist… It simply won’t work…

    Secondly, I hate disquis with passion and using mix-flashy colors on some blogs is just suicide…

    Meanwhile, thanks for the great article and happy midweek!

  21. Hi Emmanuel,
    Yet another thought provoking piece!!!
    OMG!!! I like the 90 year old stuff LOL
    very nice example your brought out to
    bring a point across
    I fully agree with the commenting option
    Some times it get irritated with the option there
    and of course in some cases the word verification thing!
    i feel like running away from there!
    and the add option i do not agree with, Emma, we do blogging for some kind of benefits right! than if some one come and interested in some add it surely add some benefits to your bag!! who don’t like that? but i agree some times it is peanut benefits LOL, Of course too much of anything is not good at all I agree!!!
    Thanks for sharing.
    Best
    Phil

  22. The Ads part is something to which I agree the most. I’ve gone thorugh the same situation that you mentioned, signing up for every ad network and stuffing em into my pages. Apparently that over-stuffing of ads has frustrated people so much that they look for Ad-blockers which in-turn block ads from all the websites (good as well as bad) which they visit. If this situation continues, I guess it will become equally harder for the bloggers to find a way to generate some cash or even pay for the expenses.

    So certainly everyone needs to sacrifice a bit. Bloggers should make sure that the ads don’t spoil the visibility of the blog and then the readers should also be interested in seeing a very minimalistic amount of advertising around the web. Else a time will come when all content will be locked behind passwords and the web will no longer be an open platform.

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